We've got LOTS to celebrate.

At 3:30 PM Monday afternoon my doctor shook my hand and said, "Sarah, you had a terrible injury and you have recovered incredibly well."


I wanted to think to myself "of course I did, I always knew I would do my part."  But in reality, him telling me that I had progressed better than others and came back from such a bad injury is what I had been needing and hoping to hear for months. The firm handshake, the  sincere  words, and overall enthusiasm from my doctor was my confirmation that I really could do it. 


According to him, due to my progress, I am able to spend the next two months "pounding away" because no matter what I can do I can no longer damage my ankle. My physicaly therapist is going to hold me off on running for a bit longer. Another day without running when I know I can't hurt myself seems unbearable. But it's the long term need for complete and full recovery to get my distance and pace back that keeps from stepping off the elyptical and onto the tredmil everyday.


He also allowed me to schedule my last surgery to remove those metal things sticking out of my ankle that cause severe shin splints. First week of August, in an out, quick recovery. done.


When I got home I threw my aircast in the corner of my closet, along with my crutches, boot, splint, ankle cranker, and ankle weights. I am not going to be modest. Today, I felt proud. So proud.


When I have fully recovered (because I know I will) after the surgery I am going to have a huge "recovery/thank you for your support party." Your invite? Reading this blog.  We've got LOTS to celebrate. 

A Long Road Home

Last Memorial Day weekend I found myself in the Hamptons. This weekend consisted of me waking up at dark hours of the morning to do a 17 mile training run on the water, which I loved every second of. My run left me feeling free and confident on the beach followed by caloriless beer and fun aggressive late nights.

For this years Memorial Day weekend, I had made a goal to run my first mile or two. It would mark the four weeks when my doctor told me I would be allowed to do "whatever I want." My goal was then altered my my physical therapist when she told me that realistically I won't be running till I have no pain walking. Unfortunately, I am yet to take one step without a limp or pain.

This Memorial Day weekend I found myself at Figawi in Nantucket, pushing through people in a bar trying not to get toppled over in search of a place to sit down. After an hour had passed and all the blood had rushed to my ankle there was no where to sit or a table to lean up against. Without a 17 miler, or even a single mile in 3 month I was feeling beyond tense. My boyfriend and a few friends left the bar realizing it wasn't the best of situations. The situation was made worse when there were no open cabs.

And after another hour of standing and trying to hail a cab, we bit the bullet and decided that the only option was to walk.... walk the 2 miles home.

How did I walk 2 miles home? I didn't. My boyfriend carried me on his back the entire way. His idea.

We are defined and create our identities by MOMENTS of IMPACT. In 5 years I will not remember the 17 mile run and night I had in the Hamptons last year. But I can garentee that for the rest of my life I will tell the story about the boy who cared enough to give me a piggy back ride all the way home.

Clearly, the road to recovery is much longer than I could have ever imagined. But luckily all these defining moments in between will make every step worth it.

Three Months After The Accident

What I can do three months after the accident:

1.      WALK without help of anything
2.       Go on the elliptical!!!!!
3.       Take the subway
4.       Sit at dinner with my foot down without intolerable pain
5.       Wear flats instead of sneakers
6.       Open doors with my hands
7.       Carry my own things (food, papers, keys, ect)
8.      Use a purse and or clutch 
9.      Throw a football and catch a football (if thrown directly at me)
10.      Take my students outside!

What I still can’t do 3 months after the accident:

1. Walk without a limp and pain
2. Walk around without a dorky air cast
3. Jump
4. Squat
5. Go down the stairs normally
6. Go to bed without icing
7. Get through the day without Tylenol
8. Wear heels
9. Get myself into reasonable shape
10. Run

Before the accident I was a runner the  all of a sudden I was someone with an injury who couldn’t walk. Now I am just this person who walks around like everyone else and everyone thinks I’m just normal. But there’s a constant pain in my ankle that is always reminding me of how different I still feel, and more importantly how far away I am from where I really want to be, running. 

Todays That Day....

Todays that day that I had been waiting for what feels like forever. My physical therapist said I no longer had to use one crutch, and I was free to always walk on my own. 


I looked down to my watch to check the date, March 14th. Exactly three month after the accident.


Sayonara, crutches. I'll see you in August.

The 5:30 AM Text Message

After spending the day at home for mothers day, I pulled away from the new haven train station and I looked down at my phone. One text message from my boyfriend that read. "you seem so happy again" 

I then realized for the first weekend in a long time I almost felt like myself. I felt like I lived my weekend like I would have any other weekend before the accident. The only difference was instead of running the loops of central park, I attempted to walk which failed and ended in a romantic piggy back ride.  

My life was turned upside down because I took a thoughtless step into the road. While I progress and reflect I realize how much that not only effected me but also so many people around me as well. It's easy for me to tell you my story and give you my perspective of things. And it's easy for you to have sympathy and feel for me, but there so much to be said for the people who didn't take that step into the road whose lives where effected just as much. 

My mom was sitting down to watch her favorite TV show when she got the phone call. Her and my father immediately got in the car and sped their way into the city. 

When my mom arrived at the hospital she found me by the sounds of my screaming. She immediately grabbed my hand and patted my head repeating "you're ok, moms here" over and over. I don’t remember her ever leaving my side until I went into surgery the next morning. 

My mom spent the next 3 weeks in New York City. Going home about 1-2  times just to get clothes Sacrificing time at her job, trip to Florida, and just about everything else. 

Every morning my dad would leave the hospital at 3:00 or 4:00 am and then my mom would send me a text at 5:30 am telling me she was on her way. I spent that hour and a half alone staring at my phone waiting for her text. I always told her she could sleep in but hoping she wouldn’t. Not surprisingly, she never did. 

When she got there she would do my hair, talk to my doctors, and do her best to get me to eat. Then she would sit and talk to me for hours. I tried to thank her and apologize over and over but she always told me it wasn't allowed.

Once I was back home she would make me breakfast every morning and make sure I ate every bite. She walked all over the city getting groceries, new outfits to fit over my array of casts, and our favorite cupcakes.

When my mom needed to take some days back at work she would take the train from NYC to New London and back all in one day. Just so I didn't have to spend a night alone.

She still never misses a doctors appointment and calls or texts everyday to make sure I'm ok. I couldn't feel this happy or have made this progress without all of  her help.

Happy Mothers Day, Mom. I've never loved you so much. 

Two steps forward, One step back

At the start of this week I was the most  relieved I had felt in a long time. Being able to walk was the best news because it released me to do so many more things. Yet, I had this little voice in the back of my head reminding me that though this is a step forward it will be really painful. I decided to ignore that little voice and dive into this headfirst.

On Monday..

I took the subway which included so much walking to and from.

I took my students to recess again so much walking

I lost the crutch whenever I was inside

I increased the time on the bike

By Friday...

I was crying at yelling at my boyfriend when he was trying to help me parallel park. Was I yelling because I suck at parallel parking? No, that's old news. I was just yet again, in so much pain. Which he of course, yet again, understood.

If you take a look at that XRAY you might start to understand why this feels so bad with every step I take. The screws which you can really see at the bottom of my ankle really hurt when I take a step. This leaves me with a really unattractive painful limp.

By Sunday...

I had spent the weekend in the pool. I walked back and forth back and forth back and forth. With no limp. I pool ran back and forth back and forth back and forth. Really slowly. I swam back and forth back and forth back and forth. 

Walking definitely still hurts, but not as bad. Which leaves me hope that next week the pain will be more barable and the limp will slowly go away. The idea that this is painful process isn't going away anytime soon is slowly sinking in. For the longest time I believed that as soon as I was off crutches I would be back to normal and walking perfectly. And at the start of this week I was still believing as soon as they released me to run and I would be running, like usual. But that too will be a slow painful process. 

Now that I've accepted that I think it will come with a little more ease and less of my own push back and denial of my own pain. I might actually start to listen to that voice in my head. And in the meantime I won't be crossing off the days till I can do it again because now I know it won't come all at once. With that said, I'm going to pool, to run.

Light at the end of the tunnel

Sometimes all the good stuff happens in one day.  

Today was one of those days....

 1) Talked to a new resident about my injury, and he gave me much more time and thought than my usual doctor. Not to mention he was really sexy. MMMMMMM

2) My grumpy, wordless, less sexy doctor told me to walk on my toes and heels and I was able to do it.

3)   He released me to walk with all my weight. Having one crutches at times and no crutches at other WOOOOOOOW FREEEDOM!!!!! Note the video!

4)   According to the doctor in 5 weeks, I will be released to do “whatever I want” (and we all know what I WANT to do)

5) My doctor and PT both expressed such excitement and shock with how much I had progressed in the short amount of time.

6)  I  got cupcakes, donuts, and new summer short shorts to celebrate

7)  BAA emailed me just to confirm I will be running Boston next year. Thanks for the reminder, I almost forgot.

8) I cried with my mom because I was HAPPY. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. For the first time.

I felt more happy and relieved today than I ever have finishing any race in my life. The marathon I’m running right now is so much more challenging than anything in my past. Every major mile marker is a huge accomplishment.