HOW TO FORCE A
NON UNISON BONE TO TURN INTO ONE COMPLETE BONE
(incase you ever have a bone that decides to stop growing)
1)
After your doctor tells you have one, google
what it is.
2)
Accept that you have a very small chance of
actually growing your bone together yourself without surgery.
3)
Decide you’ll try anyway.
4)
Beg your doctor to give your bone a little more
time before he actually declares it “dead”
5)
Take 3 doses of calcium a day (yeah, a grandma
osteoporosis dosage)
6)
Swim
7) Water aerobics (while I’m there I can compare calcium dosages with the
other grandmas)
8)
take cabs when it swells
9)
Walk on FLAT surfaces in flat shoes
10) Take elevators
11) Rest, calm down, and accept that you can’t be as active as
you used/want to be.
12) Accept who and where you are right now.
13) Don’t run (or bike or elyptical, or jump, or lunge, or
anything else that would possibly create any endorphins)
14) Wait.
15) Try on a thing called patience. It might look good on you.
According
to the doctor today, in 6 weeks if my bone is still separated I’ll be back in
the hospital with a metal plate in my leg for thanksgiving. In which case, I’m
sure I’ll find something to be thankful for. I always do, right?
