Adjustment

I’ve learned something very interesting through out all of this. Something I am not sure I would have realized before.

With time, human beings are able to adjust.

7 months ago having to deal with crutches and boots or aircasts seemed like a nightmare. Now it just feels normal.

7 months ago having to take a cab everywhere seemed pretty terrible. Now, I don’t even think about it.

7 months ago being kept awake by my pain in my ankle was depressing and tiring. Now, it’s just how I sleep.

7 months ago my scars on my leg felt out of place and embarrassing. Now, it’s just me. My biography. 

7 months ago having to go to PT 3 times a week was a huge pain in my ass. Now, it’s a community of friends.

There’s still one thing though… Every time I walk outside with my head phones in and gym clothes on my body tells me to turn right and start jogging down towards the east river. Everytime, without fail, my body and mind thinks that’s what I’m about to do. But it’s not. Instead I remind myself that I am going to go to the gym to try and find something I can do.

Not being able to take that right turn, press play on my shuffle, and jog to the east river does not feel normal. And I hope I never adjust. 

Bone Growth Party!

      On Friday afternoon I went back to the hospital for my 4^th Pre Op appointment. My fourth surgery was scheduled for Tuesday. My doctor handed me the papers to sign (again) and I handed them right back without a signature. I asked him to take another x-ray. To give it a second look because my leg really felt better. The swelling had gone down as well as the pain and bruising. He walked back in the room after checking the xray and said 

 “Sarah, forget surgery for now I think you’re growing this bone.”

I was so happy I jumped off the doctor’s bed onto my feet, pump fisted the air, and screamed in excitement. He emotionlessly told me to sit back down and reminded me that knowing my bones, jumping up and down would probably break them.

Long story short if I can cool my jets and sit still for the next month before my next doc appointment he thinks(hopes) my bone will have grown back and he can officially call off surgery. So, you can keep your fingers crossed for me and I will just sit here… patiently. Trust me, 7 months later I’ve developed enough patience for a lifetime.

My recovery party was scheduled for Saturday. While some told me to cancel it, I just decided to turn it into a bone growth party. What happened last night way pretty amazing. Friends and family traveled from all over to celebrate the last 7 months. It was without question the most fun I had since the accident.

      When taking a moment this evening to let it all sink  I felt like everything hit me all at once. Everything that has happened started to bring me to tears (yeah, this crying thing is literally a whole new me).  More than anything though, I think I was really crying because of everything everyone has 

 done for me. Through out this entire process so many people have done such extraordinary things in such different ways. I know if I need another surgery I will have amazing people around me to support me. I know if running isn’t in my future (which it will be) I will have so many people to fall back on. Everything that happened over the last 7 months is extreme and hard to deal with.  But what’s even more extreme knowing just how amazing and supportive the people in my life really are. More than I could have ever imagined before. And for that, I feel really lucky.