Here... Take Your Life Back.

            Every single time I go to the doctors they hand me this stupid 10 page survey to fill out. Theres about 100 questions about my range of motion, pain, and activitly level.  And then you turn to the last page and they stop asking you about your injury and instead your emotion state. Clearly, they are trying to collect data about traumatic injuries effecting emotional state. Unfortunately every time I have to honestly admit and remind myself I haven’t been as happy or as they put it “peppy” since the accident.

       On Monday, November 12^th everything changed. I was prepared to hear “Sarah, like I predicted, we need to operate on Thursday and put a permanent plate in your leg.” Here’s how that translates in my life, probably would have to drop my NYU classes and start them again next semester, another 2 weeks of from work, weeks of pain killers, hospital rooms, and puking, and last but certainly not least, pain if I ever choose to run again. Awesome, a perfect diagnosis for success, happiness, and what they would call “pep,” In preparation for this I had not made Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any plans. When my friends would text me about the holidays and my plans I just wouldn’t respond, because I really didn’t know what to say. When my boyfriend tried to plan a trip for the holidays, I pushed back because who knew what state I would be in or what I would be able to do.

    Instead, what my doctor saw was what he considered “A HEALED BONE.”  Which means “if you don’t mess this up by running again, we won’t have to operate and in no time you will be free to run and do anything you would like”  (at this point I probably should have punched him because he was blaming me for rebraking my ankle, but  let’s focus on the positive)

         Ok, so if you look at the XRAY you are probably thinking the same thing as me—That doesn’t look healed at all. Well, you’re right. It’s actually not completely healed, but according to a surgeon it is close enough to healed that surgery is not the right choice and it will heal on its own. So the slight pain I have is nothing to worry about and will go away with time. It’s actually the best news he could have possibly given me.  And with that explanation, I swear he placed my life back into my hands. No, I can’t do everything I want yet. but who the fuck cares? I WILL BE ABLE TO. Even now, from this partial healing I can bike (30 miles!), go out, use the subway, and celebrate Thankgiving without being drugged on pain meds. I may even pass my classes.

         I spent this weekend just living my life like any other person but with a little extra celebration of the great news. And let me tell you – I most certainly had my “pep” back.