Constant Forward Momentum

Monday, October 8, 2012

A Non Unison Bone


HOW TO FORCE A NON UNISON BONE TO TURN INTO ONE COMPLETE BONE
(incase you ever have a bone that decides to stop growing)

  1)   After your doctor tells you have one, google what it is.
  2)   Accept that you have a very small chance of actually growing your bone together yourself without surgery. 
  3)   Decide you’ll try anyway.
  4)   Beg your doctor to give your bone a little more time before he actually declares it “dead” 
  5)   Take 3 doses of calcium a day (yeah, a grandma osteoporosis dosage)
   6)   Swim
  7) Water aerobics (while I’m there I can compare calcium dosages with the other grandmas)
   8)    take cabs when it swells
  9)   Walk on FLAT surfaces in flat shoes
  10)    Take elevators 
  11)  Rest, calm down, and accept that you can’t be as active as you used/want to be.
  12)  Accept who and where you are right now.
  13)   Don’t run (or bike or elyptical, or jump, or lunge, or anything else that would possibly create any endorphins)
  14)    Wait.   
  15)     Try on a thing called patience. It might look good on you.

According to the doctor today, in 6 weeks if my bone is still separated I’ll be back in the hospital with a metal plate in my leg for thanksgiving. In which case, I’m sure I’ll find something to be thankful for. I always do, right? 

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